If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
