Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
