I think I died a long time ago.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
