In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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