Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize