Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
