Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Randomize
