Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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