He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
