Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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