Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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