He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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