ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
3pm strippers are depressing
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
