it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
