I looked at my own cervix.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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