I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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