if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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