I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Randomize
