i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
