well I can't set my house on fire every night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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