He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
