that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
