one might say we're banned from that church
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
