Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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