You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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