I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A bitchslap is in order.
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