worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
