I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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