Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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