So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize