I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize