she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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