Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
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so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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