I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
