i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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