Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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