I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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