Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
