Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
