I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
