So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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