Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
