We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
