Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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