I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Randomize
