Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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