walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
