Where are you?
In a non slutty way
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
