As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
