Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
