I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
