All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
