I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
