Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
