Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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