my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
