I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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