Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
