just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
