Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
