As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize