I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
