When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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