I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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